The Indelible Memory
by Feliona
Summary: There are just some things Osaka doesn't want to remember. A bit of AU. Inspired by a WMG in tvtropes. Song: Kioku (The Sketchbook). Osaka-centric fic. Oneshot. T for complicated issues.


Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga was really tired.

In fact, she was actually _dead _tired.

The moment she came into her apartment, Osaka threw her bag onto the sofa and rested her body while watching some anime on her television. Right now, that was all she could do now. After all, she had no choice but to _walk _to her house after coming back from Osaka. Of course, she tried her best to hide from her friends who came out of Shinteru Academy after a dreadful Friday with Miss Yukari. An hour ago, she was almost spotted by Chiyo but luckily, she ran off with her bag and headed to a nearby fast food restaurant.

Osaka chuckled. She could remember Chiyo's face the moment she saw her. It was like Chiyo seeing a ghost in her bathroom. Of course, Sakaki, Tomo and the rest didn't see her. And that was relief.

After all, they shouldn't know the truth behind her absence.

Last Monday, she told Tomo that she wasn't going on Monday due to a fever. Of course, it was a lie. Actually, she headed to the airport the night after she called Tomo. Then, she flew off to Osaka: the land of painful memories.

And that's the reason why no one has ever questioned about her parents. Whenever they ask about her parents, she would say that her parents were working in America and is currently living with her uncle. But in reality, it was not true.

Instead, something worse happened.

The credits have already appeared so Osaka switched off the television. She got up and decided to change her red sweater and white mini-skirt to a blue sweater and blue pajamas. She then separated the clothes she used to the clothes she has not worn during her trip and put them in separate baskets. She then put the basket full of used clothes outside (beside her door) so the landlord would have a chance to collect them before Wednesday.

And at last, it was time for bed.

Once she opened the door, Osaka turned the fan on and sat on her bed. And then, Osaka would do her usual routine: she would stare at the window for hours until her mind became too weak to stay awake, even for a little while. But tonight, she did something more than staring at the window.

Instead, she took out an album that was locked in her cabinet for almost six months. And for six months, the whole book was covered with dust.

"Geez, how long was this here?"She mumbled. Then, Osaka started opening the book.

**_Going through time alone,_****_  
The seasons are changing  
One day we will separate, don't you know?  
Yet in this "present", our hands cannot be reached anymore_**

Osaka smiled upon seeing the first picture.

It was her first day in Miyamo Elementary, along with some older people.

And in that time, she was in the first year of middle school, despite only being five.

Osaka could remember everything, as if everything happened just yesterday.

_"Today, we have a new student. She is a seven-year old student, yet she managed to pass the qualifying exams to reach here. Can't you believe it?"_

_And all the students were shocked by what the teacher said._

_The little girl took a step forward, gripping her white blouse and blue skirt. "I am Kuguru Kasuga. It's nice to meet all of you, senpai,"_

_Still, everyone was shocked upon what they heard. _

_"A child prodigy, eh?"_

_"She must be too smart!"_

_"Amazing, right?"_

_The teacher cleared her throat. "Alright, everyone. Settle down. Kuguru-chan, please sit with Nagisa-chan," She said, pointing at the seat nearest to the teacher's table. Kuguru nodded and said, "Thank you, Mira-sensei."_

_Right when they started their lesson in history, Kuguru and Nagisa looked at each other with shock and wonder._

_"I'm Kuguru. You're Nagisa-senpai, right?"_

_The girl, Nagisa, nodded. "Yeah. We should be friends,"_

And when the day ended, Osaka's mom decided to take a picture of both of them at the entrance of the school.

"Nagisa…I really miss you. We wished to go to some university like Harvard but…"

She then decided to flip to the next page.

"Oh, I remember this."

In that picture, they were already in the second year of middle schopol. And Osaka made more friends during that time. In the middle of the school year, Nagisa encouraged Osaka to make more friends. And in the end, there were already eight in the "Go Home" club.

**_The things we've seen, the times we've laughed together_****_  
Even if it's impossible to return to the past  
At least the memories we shared  
Still remain in my heart from time to time_**

_"So Kuguru-chan?"_

_Kuguru's head turned to see a girl with long, black hair. "Yes, Yuri-senpai?"_

_"How hard is it to be a child prodigy?"_

_And for a second there, the little girl was confused. "What do you mean, Yuri-senpai?"_

_"Well, since you're a six-year old in the eighth grade, the class president and representative and the number one student in our class, isn't it really hard?"_

_Kuguru sighed. "Well…yeah. It's true. Being a child prodigy is hard. Heck, being the leader is already hard. I may face a lot of challenges, but isn't that what life is?"_

_"What do you mean?"Noboru, the only boy in the group, asked. And that's when she smiled. "Life is like a snake-and-ladder game, Noboru-senpai. At the start, things may be easy. But when you go to the ladder, that's when the fun begins. It's scary, yet a happy one, isn't it? There may be times when we fall into the hands of the snake. There are even times when it will greatly affect us and we may be irritated because of our fall. But life is like that. The dice is fate itself. It's never the fault of the person who rolled it. Rather, it just happened. And sometimes, we need to accept our strengths and our shortcomings. But don't ever give up. That's the golden rule. Only then will you finally get the reward. But now, just wait. And wait. And wait. Patience is a virtue, after all,"_

_Yuri smiled. "I guess you're right once again, Kuguru-chan,"_

_And everyone laughed._

"Life is like a snake-and-ladder game…was I really that wise before?"

Soon, the pictures shifted. They showed all their happy experiences from their cultural festivals, to the summers they spent in the Kasuga summer mansion. To Osaka, they were the best moments of her life.

But that's when it happened.

The last picture was not on its place. Rather, it was just there, hanging around in the book.

The picture dropped.

Osaka gingerly took it.

And when she examined the photo, tears soon came out.

It was the time when all of them went to the summer mansion for a sleepover. But at that time, Osaka's parents died from a car crash. And this greatly affected her. But she knew that her friends were there to comfort there. During that time, Osaka knew that everything would return to the way it was before.

But instead, something happened. Something that greatly affected her for life.

_"One, two, three!"_

_And everyone smiled at the camera. _

_Seven-year old Kuguru ran to the camera and smiled. "Everyone, we looked so awesome here!"_

_Ayumu, the transferee who used to be shy, smiled. "Really, Kuguru-chan?"_

_Kuguru jumped up and down. "Yes, Ayumu-oneesan!" Ever since Ayumu started to open up more, Kuguru looked up to her as a best friend and a big sister. Ayumu, in turn, acted like the big sister to her, even going to the extremes when Kuguru was depressed due to her parents' death._

_Soon, all nine went inside the seafood restaurant. They enjoyed a good shrimp dinner. But an hour passed, and the rest were still eating._

_Kuguru sighed. "Guys, can I go ahead?"_

_The redhead, Asaka, sighed. "Fine. But be careful, Kuguru-chan,"_

_Kuguru smiled. "I promise, Asaka-senpai!"_

_A few hours have passed and Kuguru was still in her room._

_"Where could have they gone to? They should have been back an hour ago. Even Rina-senpai doesn't shop for this long,"_

_Bored, she decided to turn on the television._

_Suddenly, a news came up._

_"Exactly two hours ago, this seafood restaurant near the Kasuga summer mansion has been burned to ashes. According to the autopsy, only nine died and the rest survived,"_

_Kuguru gasped. "Oh no…"_

_And she ran out, hoping her friends would be okay._

_But then, it was too late._

Tears fell at the next parts. And of course, she refused those images to go into her head. Besides, it was all too painful now. Especially since yesterday was…

"…their death anniversary."

Osaka gave up. She put the album back in her cabinet but put the picture that hung around on the table. Instead, she walked to the closet and took an empty frame. Then, Osaka put the picture inside the frame and placed it next to the frame that has the picture of her current friends.

Osaka smiled. "Nothing's going to change, right?"

Then, she made a vow. Tomorrow, she's going to be the Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga everyone knew. She wouldn't be the Kuguru Kasuga who was a child prodigy like Chiyo. Instead, she'll be the slow, dumb person she is. Osaka would do whatever it will take to protect her past. After all, the Kuguru Kasuga she knew was dead. Gone. She and Kuguru aren't one anymore. Because Osaka knew that "Kuguru" is already with her true friends and parents in heaven.

After all, life is like a snake-and-ladder game. At the start, things may be easy. But when you go to the ladder, that's when the fun begins. It's scary, yet a happy one. There may be times when we fall into the hands of the snake. There are even times when it will greatly affect us and we may be irritated because of our fall. But life is like that. The dice is fate itself. It's never the fault of the person who rolled it. Rather, it just happened. And sometimes, we need to accept our strengths and our shortcomings. But don't ever give up. That's the golden rule. Only then will you finally get the reward. But now, just wait. And wait. And wait. Patience is a virtue, after all.

Osaka smiled at those words "Kuguru" used to say.

"Life was fun when I was Kuguru,"

But she shook her head.

"But I don't want it to happen again. I don't want to be Kuguru again. I'll remain as Osaka…if it's only to protect everyone around me,"

And for the first time since the incident, she slept peacefully under the quiet moon.

**_Even if we can't meet,_****_ even if I can't hear your voice,  
Your figure will always be in my memories,  
Always laughing with me, always smiling as the seasons passed by  
Because someday, I'll meet you again, isn't that right? _**

* * *

**So in case some were confused, this was my version of Osaka's past:**

**Before, Osaka used to Kuguru Kasuga, child prodigy. So her first day of school was probably odd because her first level was the first year in middle school. And so, Kuguru made a lot friends. IN short, she used to be like Chiyo, only more calm and more innocent.**

**When they were in the last year of middle school, the nine (used to be eight, until a new student named Ayumu came) decided to hang out at the beach where Osaka (kuguru during that time)'s mansion is (and the Kasugas used to be richer than Chiyo's family) to heal the emotional wounds after Osaka (Kuguru)'s parents died. While they were eating, Osaka (Kuguru) decided to wait for them in the mansion. But hours passed by and yet they were not there. It was until Osaka (Kuguru) found out that they died. So after years of trying to remain sane, she decided to move to Tokyo and restart as Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga (and she picked the name Ayumu in memory of one of her friends). It was only then she thought that "Kuguru" "died" when Osaka moved to Tokyo. In short, she started forgetting the pain "Kuguru" went through. Osaka didn't want to be her old self. So she pretended to be ADD only to protect her true identity.**

**And that's all I have to say!**


End file.
